Last Updated: December 21, 2017, 3:55 pm

Trending Now: Astrology, your ‘sign’ don’t mean anything


Astrologers in many cultures have studied and attached meaning to the movement of stars and planets, apparently so you could put the emoji for your astrological sign in your Instagram bio.

I’ve been seeing a lot of people use astrology to define themselves on social media. Someone I know will retweet a quote today that says something like, “An Aries is always loyal, but be careful if you betray her trust,” and that person will say something like, “This is me af.”

Is it really? Is that quote really “you af?”

For the sake of experimentation, I read my horoscope every day last week on, took the advice into consideration, and waited to see if my life got any better.

My conclusion: Horoscopes are stupid. Here’s an example. 

“Taking another look at your health and diet will be interesting today,” my horoscope on read. “Things have changed more than you realized, and it will either be time for a celebration ­— or time for a complete overhaul. If you have slipped a bit, then you need to face facts and trim the fat — literally! Investigate new ideas on how to eat better and exercise more. But if the change has been a healthy one, then let yourself take one day off and celebrate. You’ve got the fundamentals, and you are on your way!”

So basically, my diet has changed. If the change was bad, I need to make it better. If it was good, then great job, Nick. This horoscope could apply to just about anyone but me. The accounting for the two most likely outcomes already makes this horoscope cleverly non-specific, but it failed to account for my actual situation. I buy the exact same groceries every week. My diet hasn’t changed for months. I was left with no supernatural advice that day.

There are a plethora of astrology-based social media accounts ready to tell yourself about you with hundreds of thousands of followers. They post quotes, horoscopes, advice and interesting bits of information about your astrological sign, which you can then share online with those unfortunate enough to follow you. Thank goodness you have the migration of celestial bodies to substantiate the social media presence you are trying to curate.

However, if you have an Internet connection and do a few minutes of research, it’s easy to see there’s an overwhelming lack of evidence to support astrological claims. According to a poll conducted by Pew Research Center, 25 percent of Americans believe in astrology, even though the scientific community has declared it invalid. That means one in four people reads the advice in a horoscope and believes he or she should act accordingly — I’m assuming based solely on faith. 

Now, there are two points I’d like to make.

First, most of your personality is pretty visible when people meet you. If you’re a funny person, people will be able to tell because you’ll be funny. You don’t have to say, “I’m funny.” This is essentially what you are doing when you spread your own astrological information all over the Internet.

Secondly, when you try to convince people you possess these characteristics because the stars said so, it’s even more unbearable.

Astrology is a load of crap. 

It can’t tell your future. It didn’t determine your personality. It doesn’t know who you are romantically compatible with. It means nothing. So your astrologically-based descriptions of yourself also mean nothing.

If you really think sharing your “sign” with your peers lets them know who you are, I urge you to look critically at this nonsense you’re spreading around. None of it is really saying anything about you.

Instead, try having conversations with the people around you and let them judge your personality from your interactions together. Let your life choices be governed by common sense and not ambiguous advice so vague it applies to anyone.

Don’t let your Capricorn emoji define you.