Dating a friend’s ex is like using someone else’s toothbrush or taking a bite out of someone else’s apple; you just don’t do it.
Whether it be reasons of our own or keeping someone else’s feelings in mind, there are many reasons we shouldn’t date our friends’ exes.
Ladies and gentlemen, listen up. We have all heard of the legendary book of bro codes and girl codes that we, as so-called friends, should never break, one of which is dating one of our friends’ exes.
Our friends are supposed to be people we can turn to who will let us vent and who always have our back, especially when we are talking about people of the opposite sex.
Imagine if the very same people we told all of our secrets to, and spent the most time with, were dating the people we just cut out of our lives. Whether it ended on good terms or not, obviously if we dated someone, we had feelings for that person. Strong feelings like that may take some time to get over. Having a friend bring that person back into our lives could be a painful experience.
For example, I had just gotten out of a relationship where I cared about the person deeply, but it just wasn’t meant to work out. We did what was best and called it off. But that didn’t mean I still didn’t like him or cared for him more than your average person. Not even two weeks after the breakup, my best friend and my ex started dating, unbeknownst to me.
Now, this best friend was someone I hung out with every day. In result of the new relationship they formed, I had the “pleasure” of seeing my ex every day. I also got to see my ex happy with someone else. I can tell you nothing is worse than seeing the person you love love someone else.
It was only when I confronted them about the situation that they told me they had feelings for each other.
Though I still remained friends with both of them, it never was the same. There were times it became too painful, so I had to take myself out of the situation. In result, I spent many weekends by myself.
With this also comes respect for our friends. No one wants to go through that, so why should we be the cause of inflicting that pain on somebody else? If we cherish their friendships, respect them enough to maintain those friendships over some crush.
If my friend had not gone behind my back and started dating my ex, seeing how much she liked him, I probably would have been more OK with the situation.
We should think twice before crossing that line and ruining our friendships. As well as causing other people pain, it’s just not worth it.