Cockiness is covering up the absence of confidence.
To some, confidence and cockiness can seem to be one in the same, but they are in fact two extremely opposite character traits.
Cockiness is being arrogant and wrapped up in oneself. People with cocky personalities are less likely to reach out for help or to look out for others. When I meet a cocky person, I often find them annoying, selfish and rude.
In my experience, those who are cocky are trying to hide the flaws they have. These type of people always want to win the conversation, and they will try to make their life seem worse or better than yours. They try to “one-up” you.
People who are confident know who they are. They acknowledge and accept their flaws but do not settle for them. Being confident takes time and humility. Confidence is an attractive and desirable trait.
Dr. Guy Winch, a licensed psychologist, said in his article “The Key Difference Between Pride and Arrogance” that confidence and cockiness are two different types of pride, authentic and hubristic.
“Authentic pride arises when we feel good about ourselves, confident, and productive, and is related to socially-desirable personality traits such as being agreeable, conscientious, and emotionally stable,” Winch said.
For those with low self-esteem who are worried about becoming arrogant upon increasing their self-esteem should have no need to fear. Winch said because you fear to become that, you are more aware and are less likely to gain that hubristic, cocky pride.
Last summer, I had a friend who was absolutely beautiful on the inside and outside, but she didn’t see what I saw. Near the end of August, she asked another friend to do some portraits for her and I tagged along on the photoshoot to get some more experience behind the camera. Not long after I sent her the photos I took, she messaged me and informed that the photos my friend and I had taken had helped her realize just how beautiful she was.
I wish everyone could see themselves through the eyes of someone who loves them.
So, if you feel you are cocky than quit it. Take down some of your walls and accept the flaws you have. Everyone has flaws, but just because we have them does not mean we can’t fix them or make them better.
Start looking for the good in others, look for traits you want to exhibit in yourself. Rejoice in others success. You don’t always have to have a better day than they did.
When you do these things and humble yourself you will start to gain your own self-confidence that is free of arrogance.
If you believe you have high self-esteem now, then you need to build on it and maintain it. Remember who you are to others and to yourself. Love who you are. It is not an easy or simple process. It could take years and years to fully love yourself. I still struggle with my self-worth from time-to-time. The key is to not give up.